Week 5 Power Rankings — The Worst League

Oct 12

Oct 12 Week 5 Power Rankings

In October, magical moments are typically reserved for the baseball diamond.

This week, Francisco Lindor conjured up some of that sorcery with a grand slam to lift the New York Mets to a series-clinching victory over the Philadelphia Phillies. Now, those once-lovable losers are headed to the NLCS for the first time since 2015. Which puts them one step closer to raising their first World Series trophy since 1986.

Of course, the season didn’t always feel like it would end in triumph. The Mets stumbled out of the gate, starting 0-5 and dropping 15 of 19 games in May, which left them 11 games under .500. Honestly, I’m not a huge baseball fan, so I couldn’t tell you much about what truly sparked their eventual turnaround. But I do know, at some point, Mets fans started showing up to Citi Field in Grimace costumes after the creepy, purple McDonald’s mascot’s first pitch sparked a seven-game winning streak. The Mets have been on a roll ever since.

Mets fans reacting to Kelly's 0-4 start.

Which brings me, in a roundabout way, to Kelly.

Like the Mets, Kelly started the season 0-4. Worse, she had the lowest score in the league for four consecutive weeks. In the 14-year history of our league, only one other team owner has ever managed to hit rock bottom four weeks in a row. That infamous record was set by Erik back in Weeks 9-12 of 2011 (and, let’s be real, I’m pretty sure it’s because he was starting inactive players). Now, Kelly joins this elite club.

But this week, Kelly’s streak of futility finally, mercifully, came to an end. In what can only be described as a miracle, the losingest team owner in league history, Kelly, finally got a win—against the owner with the most wins in league history, Gray. Kelly entered the matchup with zero career wins. Gray? A staggering 116.

Her 131.16 points were nearly double what she’d been averaging through the first four weeks (75.8 ppg), thanks to a total team effort and season-high performances from Caleb Williams, Brandon Aiyuk, and Travis Kelce. So, does this mean Taylor Swift is Kelly’s Grimace?

Kelly still has a long road ahead. But surprisingly, 26% of 1-4 teams have gone on to make the playoffs (or would have with a six-team playoff ). That’s higher than you might think. In fact, just two years ago, Nick bounced back from a 1-4 start to finish 8-6, not only making the playoffs but reaching the title game—coming up just short of a championship.

Yes, even for history’s most infamous losers, anything is possible.

Just ask the Mets.

Cue the Power Rankings!

Jess is off to the best start of her career at 5-0 with a .745 TW%.

Rewrite the history books! It’s been 12 years since a team started 5-0—and Jess just did it.

With a low-scoring win over Josh in Week 5, Jess’s team became just the fourth in league history to open a season with five straight wins. The previous three (Greco in 2012, Brandon and Gray in 2011) all made deep playoff runs. Greco and Brandon took home championships, while Gray finished as runner-up. As Mets fan Jerry Seinfeld’s creative collaborator Larry David might say, “pretty, pretty, pretty good.”

This week, Jess was certainly ripe for an upset. In part due to the bye-week absence of Saquon Barkley, her 108.36 points were a season-low. Nevertheless, she escaped with another “lucky win” (her second this year) thanks to a favorable matchup with Josh. But don’t be fooled, this is a great team. She’s now led the Power Rankings for four straight weeks and is almost certainly headed back to the playoffs for the first time since 2020.

The only looming concern is depth. Outside of Jordan Love’s Week 1 MCL sprain (which Baker Mayfield has covered admirably), Jess has stayed relatively healthy—until now. Nico Collins hit IR for at least four weeks, and Aaron Jones and Rhamondre Stevenson are both on the injury report. With more bye weeks on the horizon, Jess’s bench will face its toughest test yet.

Now for some news and notes for the rest of the league:

🚨 Alert! Geoff is in second place in the Power Rankings! 🚨
Winning his first weekly prize of the year with a season-high 163.12 points (despite Amon-Ra St. Brown on bye), Geoff is now just two true wins behind Jess and trails her by less than 10 total points for the league lead.
Can Geoff claim the top spot this week? In his entire career, he’s only led the Power Rankings once—Week 5 of 2013. But he’s the hottest team in the league over the last three weeks, including Jess.
After starting 1-2, Alex has put together two impressive weeks, defeating both Samantha and Brandon in the process. (Our household is currently in deep reflection.)
Alex’s scoring average, rank this season: 123.3 ppg, 3rd
Alex’s scoring average, rank without defense/kicker: 97.5 ppg, 6th
(Yes, I’m trolling him. 🧌)
Beth Ann lost a squeaker to Samantha by just 1.54 points as Alvin Kamara came up one catch short of a would-be victory on Monday night.
This is Beth Ann’s second loss by less than 10 points—the most this season. She’s now 2-3 but fourth in the Power Rankings.
Chelsie was our biggest riser up the rankings this week, jumping three spots into fifth place. That’s especially impressive considering all the injuries—notably Christian McCaffrey, Davante Adams and DeVonta Smith.
How is she doing it? Double TEs! In a season in which TEs have been a disaster, Chelsie has been playing two each of the past two weeks. It’s a savvy strategy, given that George Kittle and Brock Bowers—her seventh- and 10th-round picks—currently rank as TE1 and TE2 in fantasy.
Before Chelsie, starting a tight end in the flex was usually a losing strategy. Since TEs became flex-eligible in 2021, owners had only tried it six times—and lost five of those matchups. But Chelsie has flipped the script, going 2-0 with her double-TE approach.
Congrats to Samantha on her 50th career win! Reaching the milestone in Week 5 of her seventh season, she’s the third-fastest in league history to hit the mark. Only Gray (59 wins) and Greco (55 wins) had more victories at the same point in their careers.
Samantha has quietly struggled the past couple of weeks but snagged a “lucky win” over Beth Ann to improve to 4-1. Her slump coincides with downturns from Breece Hall and De’Von Achane.
Samantha’s RB scoring, rank Weeks 1-3: 40.8 ppg, 3rd
Samantha’s RB scoring, rank Weeks 4-5: 9.6 ppg, 12th
Has any owner been hit harder by injuries than Gray? In an alternate universe, he’s dominating with Tyreek Hill, Cooper Kupp, and Rashee Rice. But on this earthly plane, Patrick Mahomes collided with Rice, ending his season. Kupp remains sidelined with a Week 2 high-ankle sprain, and while Hill is healthy, he’s been hampered by Tua Tagovailoa’s concussion.
At 1-4, this is Gray’s worst start ever. He’s only had a losing record in Week 5 once before—back in 2018, the worst season of his career. That year, he started 2-3, posted his lowest TW% ever (.409), and earned the “Mr. Glass” award after losing his top two picks in Week 1.
Clearly in win-now mode, Gray made the season’s first trade, sending Tyreek Hill to Brandon for Garrett Wilson.
Oh no, Greco! This week, she started just eight players, leaving an RB slot empty after team namesake Jonathan Taylor was ruled out Friday with an ankle sprain. With Zamir White also sidelined in Week 5 and no other RBs on her roster, Greco chose not to make a pickup. 🙈
Not that it mattered. She was steamrolled by Geoff, losing by 98.66 points—the second-largest margin of victory in league history. The only bigger blowout? Jess’s 102.38-point win in Week 12 of 2020…also against Greco.
Brandon picked up his third-straight loss this week despite 121.62 points in Week 5—his first “unlucky loss” of the season.
Brandon has the QB2 (Jayden Daniels) and QB6 (Kyler Murray) on the season, yet he ranks 10th in QB scoring. Why? He keeps starting the wrong one. Through five weeks, he’s never picked the higher scorer. The odds of getting it wrong five weeks in a row? Just 3.1%.
Brandon’s starting QB scoring average: 14.4 ppg
Brandon’s benched QB scoring average: 26.6 ppg
Josh had his worst game of the season, scoring just 87.58 points in a loss to Jess.
In five games this season, Josh has cracked the top half of the league in scoring just once. Yet, he’s 3-2, thanks to two “lucky wins.” What’s behind the struggle? His third-round pick, Rachaad White, ranks as RB32 and is now on the injury report, and his fourth-rounder, Evan Engram, has played only one game all season.
Speaking of struggles, reigning champ Erik has a similar profile to Josh—only without the luck. He dropped his third straight game this week, falling to 1-4. Ja’Marr Chase put up 41.3 points, accounting for over a third of Erik’s total, but it still wasn’t enough to secure the win.
Next week should be more promising, with key players like Jalen Hurts, Sam LaPorta, and Tony Pollard all returning from their byes.
Lastly, Kelly not only secured her first win of the season but also racked up eight true wins, putting her within striking distance of 11th place. Can she climb out of the basement and spark a comeback? A showdown with the owner just ahead of her, Erik, might be just what the doctor ordered.