Week 3 Power Rankings — The Worst League

Sep 27

Sep 27 Week 3 Power Rankings

Unless you were living under Arrowhead Stadium this weekend, you may have noticed that Taylor Swift made an appearance in Kansas City to watch new beau Travis Kelce dismantle the Bears. So in honor of the woman whose Eras Tour has singlehandedly saved the economy, we’re going to run through this week’s action as only Tay Tay would.

That’s right. This is officially the Week 3 Power Rankings (Taylor’s Version).

Let’s do it…

If not for Taylor Swift, the Miami Dolphins would have been the story of the week. They may have scored just 70 points against the Broncos, but it sure seemed like at least 1,989!

Most notably, De’Von Achane totaled a season-high 51.3 points—albeit on Gray’s bench. Gray nabbed Raheem Mostert’s “backup” mere hours before Sunday’s kickoff. Unfortunately, fantasy is a cruel summer and Gray’s probably cryin’ like a baby comin’ home from the bar as he still lost to Alex by decimals. If only he’d opted for a blank space at defense instead of the -4.0 points he got from the Jaguars D/ST. Though in the group chat, Gray seems to be blaming kickers (despite spending a 13th-round pick on one). Uh oh, Justin Tucker. It seems like you two are never ever getting back together.

Speaking of nifty moves on the waiver wire, karma is Nick dropping Achane just before his big day. But then scooping up Tank Dell who went off for 25.5 points in Week 3. Sheesh, you need to calm down, rook. Nick still got the win this week over Jess, but he’ll no doubt remember losing Achane like a red scarf all too well.

As for Jess, injuries to Austin Ekeler, Jonathan Taylor, Cooper Kupp and Aaron Rodgers have left her team wondering, “are we out of the woods yet?” The answer for at least one more week is no. She’s 0-3 and starting to develop a reputation for losing. Or maybe it’s just bad blood.

Brandon knew Keenan Allen (45.46 points) was trouble when he walked in, leading Chelsie to a victory and nearly all players in scoring for the second week in a row. But with more than enough points to make up the difference on the bench, Brandon was left thinking, “it’s me, hi...I’m the problem, it’s me.”

Then there’s Taylor Swift’s Boyfriend’s Team, which is unsurprisingly 3-0. Greco scored a season-high 139.38 points thanks in part to 19.9 points from Travis Kelce. What a love story! Baby, just say “yes” to 14.0 points from Joe Mixon on Monday night who scored just enough to hold off Davante Adams (42.2 points) and Puka Nacua (12.2 points) to secure the victory over Samantha. The reigning champ has gotta shake it off. Despite finishing as the fourth-highest scoring team of the week, she’s also 0-3.

Speaking of recent champs, Beth Ann was left in a lavender haze despite 27.9 points from purple-clad Justin Jefferson. Subtract the defenses and kickers from this matchup and Beth Ann beats Geoff by more than two touchdowns. But that’s only in Beth Ann’s wildest dreams. In reality, Zack Moss (Jonathan Taylor’s version) scored 22.5 points in the flex with Jaylen Waddle sidelined to help power Geoff to his first weekly prize of the year.

Finally, Erik rebounded from last week’s dud with 144.4 points to remind everyone that you best believe he’s still bejeweled when he walks in the room. With Joe Burrow on his bench and the fearless Cowboys D/ST somehow going negative, his WRs outscored Josh’s by 56 points. Though to be fair, Brandon Aiyuk was a surprise inactive on Thursday night, leaving Josh staring at his fantasy app muttering “look what you made me do.”

Alright, I’m not going to make you sit here and read this thing for over three hours. Let’s get to the Power Rankings.

After a one-week hiatus, Erik is back on top.

If not for the Cowboys D/ST, Erik would have nabbed his second weekly prize of the year. As a result, he bounces back from a Week 2 dud to leap back into the top spot of the Power Rankings. Meanwhile in the official standings, Greco and Nick lead all team owners with sterling 3-0 records while Samantha and Jess remain winless.

Let’s get to the news and notes:

With teams averaging 127.4 ppg, this was the fourth-highest scoring week in league history and the highest-scoring week since Week 5 of 2021 (131.3 ppg).
Geoff wins the weekly prize. It’s his third in the last eight weeks.
Since 2020, Geoff has won eight weekly prizes. No one else has won more than five.
This is Erik’s second career week at #1 in the Power Rankings, pushing him past Geoff (1 week) and Samantha (0 weeks) among active team owners.
Greco is 3-0 for the first time since 2017. This is her fourth 3-0 start. She made the playoffs all three previous times. 😎😎😎
Nick is 3-0 for the first time since 2014. He finished 4-9 that year and did not make the playoffs. Ruh-roh. 😱
Though she’s used to slow starts, Samantha is 0-3 for just the second time ever. She also started 0-3 in 2019 but finished 8-5 and made the playoffs.
Jess, who won only four times last year, has now lost five regular season games in a row.
Jess has not started 0-3 since 2012. She finished 6-7 and missed the playoffs.
87% of 3-0 teams go on to make the playoffs.
24% of 0-3 teams go on to make the playoffs.
Chelsie still leads all team owners with 32.0 receptions per game but Samantha has passed her in scoring from WRs with 59.7 ppg.
Gray lost to Alex by just 0.26 points, just the sixth game decided by less than a point.
It’s the second-closest game in league history, trailing only Josh’s victory over Brandon last year in Week 2, which was decided by just 0.04 points.
Gray is currently averaging 0.3 ppg from D/ST. 🤏